Tom Hanks is back in this third outing as Professor of Iconology Robert Langdon. This time he finds himself in a hospital in Florence with no knowledge of how he got there from Boston, which is last recountable memory. He is being tended to by Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones) a doctor at the hospital and a fan of Langdons so after an attempt is made on his life she aides his escape. When he finds a container in his pocket containing an skewed picture of Dantes inferno they manage to link the drawing to a geneticist Bertrand Zobrist (Ben Foster) whos vocal and extremist views on overpopulation of the world has him on the watch list of many government agencies.

As Langdon realises that he is a wanted man his amnesia causes him to mistrust everybody so he goes on the run, along with Brooks to try and work out why he is in possession of the drawing and what links it to Zobrist. So begins the hunt as Langdon unravels the clues to uncover the truth all the while having the authorities on his tail including the mysterious Vayentha (Ana Ularu), who has the most purposeful walk I’ve seen since Robert Patrick as the T-1000.

While I have read both the DaVinci Code and Angels And Demons I have not read this novel so I can only assume that it is reasonably faithful to the source material. If this is the case then I hope that the plot line makes more sense on print as I found this to be an awful mess of a storyline. I won’t give anything away in terms of a spoiler but it’s fairly common knowledge that this movie revolves around the potential release of a virus which will wipe out a large portion of the human population so if this was an agenda for somebody who was in possession of such a bacterial agent I would expect that they would just release the virus. Instead we have a convoluted mix of clues, each leading to the next step towards finding the location of the virus which is waiting to be released. It’s a glorified version of how the villains in the early James Bond movies always took the time to explain their plans for world domination to the character before killing him.

This is only the beginning of my gripe. I know that Langdon is a well know person in certain circles but I doubt he is famous enough to be allowed to pass though closed off areas of tourist attractions and not have anybody approach him regarding what he may be doing, yet he seems to have free reign to run around said areas in search of clues with it even going so far as to being able to take an exhibit without recourse, the World Health Organisation are now almost militaristic in their approach to things, crack shot hit-men suddenly can’t hit a barn door with a banjo, a believable twist but one that was so obvious that I called it twenty minutes into the film, then further twists which are extremely far fetched and a climax so ridiculous. The whole thing felt like an amateur hour idea in its execution.

The premise itself is fine. Humanity is ruining the planet, like a disease and the only way to solve the problem is to eliminate the many to save the few, no problem with that concept but the whole thing just left like it was a lazy adaptation of a story with no real sense of danger or drama considering the supposed consequences.

There is a lot more wrong with this film and I could go on but I’ve said about as much as I can without giving the movie away, just in case you do decide to check it out. Considering this is directed by Ron Howard it’s a very poor effort and Tom Hanks felt like he was phoning it in as the usual charisma and intensity he brings was missing, which is not something I can ever recall saying before so I can only blame the material on that. The rest of the cast as similarly wasted with Omar Sy & Ben Foster completely underused and apart from Hanks & Jones the only person who stood out was Irrfan Khan as Harry Sims, head of the unknown group who are chasing Langdon. I’m not sure if it was the actors performance or his lines which were the reason for the humour in the role, whichever it was, it was one of the few bright spots in a poor film which is overlong, preachy and not as good as the previous two movies, neither of which was great either.

In a year full of disappointing movies this one is down the lower echelons of that list.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

© Darren Jones 2016

Based on the 2006 Stephen King novel of the same name, Cell sees Clay Riddell (John Cusack) returning home to his family when an unexpected event caused by mobile phones sends people crazy so Clay must escape with fellow survivors a train conductor, Tom McCourt (Samuel Jackson) and his neighbour Alice Maxwell (Elizabeth Furhman) to try and figure out what is going on and save his family along the way as they bump onto a couple of groups of survivors who’s sanity seems as precarious as the enemy they are facing.

Unfortunately it’s yet another case of a poor adaptation of a Stephen King novel, how that guy must be frustrated watching his good stories being destroyed on the screen, although I’m sure the money flowing in helps. When will Hollywood realise that a good novel horror/sci-fi does not always translate to a good movie?

With an antagonist made up for the movie and very reminiscent of Randall Flagg from The Stand book albeit, much less terrifying and monsters (if they are really that) who’s communication system is very similar to the aliens in Invasion Of The Body Snatchers the film feels like a mish-mash of ideas from other movies behind the story line except the ideas don’t work and the movie is neither entertaining or horrific. I never felt any semblance of caring or empathy for the survivors and I can only put that down to the movie as the book does a good job of it. The best credit I can give it is that it acts like a science fiction piece about technology turning on us (Maximum Overdrive anybody?) which is no doubt mean to be a moralistic, cautionary tale used as a metaphor for about how much we rely of technology and in particular our phones in modern life causing us to act like mindless zombies however, it ends up as nothing more than a cheap feeling B-movie that even an A-list cast that really should have known better cannot save and the disappointing, cheap story line ending was probably the most disappointing thing of all. 

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

You know what you are getting when you watch a Sacha Baron Cohen movie, generally crude and offensive comedy with a thread of a movie premise behind it and this latest effort is no different as he brings us the tale of Nobby Butcher who, when growing up was inseparable from his brother but they were separated while going through the foster care system after their parents died 28 years earlier and is now a stereotypical working class Northerner while we learn that his brother Sebastian (Mark Strong) is a top level MI6 agent. When Nobby finds out that his brother will be attending a high profile charity event he manages to gain entry and messes up the whole mission leading to his brother having to go on the run. It’s then down to Nobby to assist Sebastian in clearing his name and dealing with the conspiracy which they uncover along the way.

What transpires is a predictable medley of gags about Nobby making Johnny English look like James Bond, the actions of the stereotypes of working class Britain, jokes about anatomical parts and one horrendous scene involving elephant sex!

Cohen seems to be on a downward spiral in terms of these comedy characters, Borat was good, but Bruno not so much, General Haffaz was poor and now Nobby is as bad if not worse and for a movie with such talent as Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson and Gabourey Sidibe its criminally unfunny. Did I giggle at some scenes? Of course I did. Was it a funny movie? Not at all. Even if you liked Borat or Ali G before that this has none of the clever humour of either of those characters and there are far better comedy movies that you could be spending your time watching.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

Based on the 1960’s Hanna Barbera cartoon about the money driven scam artist cat from Hoagy Alley. This movie is essentially an origin story where we see how the gang got together in the first place along with their initial run ins with Office Dibble and their attempts to break into the territory of Mr.Big who runs the area with an iron fist and doesn’t take kindly to competition. This leads to a misunderstanding with some priceless jewels where Top Cat finds himself wanted by the police and with a large reward on his head where most of the population of the city are looking to cash in as well.

The voice actors are all experienced in the field, the animation is good, it’s full of references to the original cartoon, other movies, modern cultural moments and fourth wall breaks but despite all this Top Cat still feels exactly like what it is, an extended version of the cartoon show and while there is a good mix of comedy with a moralistic tales about friendship which kids will no doubt lap up the running time is a little long for the younger crowd and there’s not enough in it for adults to enjoy either.

It lacks the quality of either The Jungle Book or Zootopia which are both far superior movies for both kids and adults so save this one for a rainy day afternoon of watching movies with the kids at home.

 

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

I still think the original movie is an absolute classic and the crudeness of the Farrelly brother script fit perfectly with the tale of the two idiots Harry & Lloyd however after the awful attempt at a prequel in Dumb & Dumber & Dumberer, which in fairness was nothing to do with the Farrellys, and the numerous attempts that have been made at sequels to classics which have fallen flat on their face in the meantime, it was with some trepidation that I watched this film.

There are some good moments such as when Lloyd Christmas is asked if his surname is based on the holiday to which he replies no, the tree, which would have fit right into the original movie but most of the time it’s a regurgitation of bodily function jokes and general bathroom humour based around a very loose tale of Harry needing a new kidney and finding out he has a long lost daughter who lives in Maryland so a second Harry & Lloyd road trip is required to source this potential organ donor.

Now, I wasn’t expecting a plot or writing which would be making an Oscar shortlist but this really is a case of one step forward and two steps back as each time there’s a gag which hit it is followed by at least two that don’t meaning it’s a stop – start affair that builds your hopes and memories of the classic original only to rip them away by returning to obscurity just as quickly.

Both Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels have shown that they can do serious action with roles in such movies as Terms Of Endearment, The Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind and The Purple Rose Of Cairo so let’s hope that they both return to serious acting and leave these two characters in the retirement home where they belong, and hopefully I haven’t just given anybody an idea for a third movie.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

Looking and sounding very like his father, Scott Eastwood stars as Jackson, an ex civil war soldier on a journey to save his kidnapped wife who has been kidnapped by bandits heading for Mexico that have also burned his house to the ground. Driven and focused Jackson will stop at nothing to get his wife back however, like some kind of cursed Jonah, anyone either good or evil, that he bumps into along the way seems to end up dead. The only exception seems to be a strange character named Ezra (Walter Goggins) who appears from time to time and usually at the more opportune moments.

With disappointing use the excellent talents of both Goggins and Danny Glover as Benjamin Carver, a war colleague of Jackson’s, who only seems to appear to give some exposition to Jackson’s background and serves no other real purpose. So this film is all very much about Eastwood but he doesn’t have the screen presence or acting skills as yet, to pull this off without stronger support characters and when the, fairly obvious, twist comes, it makes the first hour of the movie pointless and nonsensical.

There are all the revenge based themes of a good western there, it’s just not handled well enough to make a good movie. Real credit here has to go to veteran cinematographer Dean Cundey who makes the scenery and sets look fantastic and deserves a mention for giving the movie a great classic western vibe, unfortunately as a whole the same can’t be said of the movie.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

Another first person POV style movie set in the near future where a virus has eliminated most of the population of the USA and struck so fast that the government had next to no time to react and society has virtually collapsed. While quite topical with the current spread of Zika raising awareness for the ease of how diseases can spread. Doctor Lauren Chase (Rachel Nichols) is one of the last remaining CDC members in the country so she is called to Los Angeles to work on a potential cure. She is tasked by chief physician Doctor Greer (Paul Guilfoyle) with rescuing a medical unit which is stranded in the city. Along for the ride are security member Gunner (Mekhi Phifer), navigator Denise (Missi Pyle) and driver Wheeler (Alfie Allen).

What then transpires is a gore filled romp through downtown Los Angeles seen through the helmet cameras of the crew members which, while leading to some good action shots, does nothing memorable as they hit trap after trap and are attacked by wave after wave of ‘people’ (there is no mention of the word zombie) at various stages of the disease against the back story of the potential that Dr.Chases’ daughter may still be alive and the fact that she is focused on her rescue as much as the mission at hand. The one bright spot in the movie involves a plot twist for the main character which at least brings some semblance of humanity and motivation to the film that it is severely lacking otherwise.

In the end it’s a B-Grade, straight to TV, science fiction movie that has been done before and does nothing to allow the actors any scope to try and elevate this beyond mediocrity.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

Alycia Debnam-Carey stars as Laura, a popular psychology student with lots of friend on social media who takes pity an introvert, strange, loner girl in her class, Marina (Liesl Ahlers) who is almost her polar opposite and accepts her friend request on Facebook. Marina takes this friendship acceptance to the extreme and becomes very stalkerish which leads to an encounter where Laura lies to Marina about her plans for her birthday, but this rather stupid lie, since she then posts photos all over Facebook, leads to Marina confronting Laura and becoming even more scarily clingy so Laura decides to unfriend her. That night Marina commits suicide and posts it online for all to see. It is then that things take a turn for the either weirder as Laura begins to gets messages and becomes re-friended by somebody acting as Marina.

Very similar to another movie I recently watched and reviewed ‘Unfriended’, Friend Request is a tick box of horror clichés with dream sequences, disbelieving policeman, friends being killed, jump scares and silly plot threads appearing by the numbers and while there were one of two decent jump scares they didn’t do enough to hide the weak script which tried to, unsuccessfully, link the whole tale into witchcraft rituals followed by a the section where Laura tries to work out the history behind Marina which transfers the movie into a rip off of The Ring and from then on the whole thing has a very Japanese horror vibe.

Ahlers does a decent job as the disturbed girl but the rest of the friends were another bunch of by the number horror fodder, Lauras friend and Freddie Prinze, Jr. lookalike Kobe (Connor Paolo) came across as just as weird as Marina yet that raised no eyebrows at all and there is a small twist towards the end which, while I can understand the characters actions, made little sense in context with the rest of the movie.

Overall it’s a by the number modern horror with all the suspense sucked out of the movie by the poor plot and overuse of attempted jump scares. Perhaps if it has been sold as some form of satirical twist on the dangers of social media and used the friendship in a Single White Female type of tale there may have been something good to work with but as it appears, even for fans of the genre, it’s not something I can recommend.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

Unfriended is an interesting concept, told in real time and based around the internet conversations and actions of a group of friends. The problem is that, while most of us use apps, chat boxes and video clips every day we don’t sit watching other people use them and this is where the issue begins as, while the plot may be novel, it’s not very interesting in theory.

The premise is based around the death of Laura, a girl who this group of friends all knew. Laura took her own life after a video of some embarrassing drunken antics is posted online in a poor show of extreme cyber bullying so during an online conversation between these friends they get an uninvited guest who they just can’t seem to get rid of, also this person seems to know an awful lot about them and their interactions with Laura and also seems to have control over their computers.

With echoes of I Know What You Did Last Summer, it then becomes a game of trying to find out who is sending the more and more aggressively threatening messages until it reaches a point where one of the group kills themselves (or is killed) during the course of their online conversation. Once this occurs the survivors realise that this game iis real but unfortunately it’s a game who’s consequences are always shown after the fact rather than letting you see the horror occur as it’s a case of build up, build up, cut, dead body, which is disappointing.

Credit must be given for some of the tension that is built, as you are waiting on the inevitable cliche jump scare to occur but since the movie is told through mostly webcam images you start to look behind the webcam shots of the characters for some background indication of what is going to occur next and the game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ excellently brings out the darker side of each character and shows exactly what kind of people these really are.

Unfriended is a horror story with a moral message is just too dull in parts to elevate it into memorable status but it has opened a door which I’m sure will be opened many times again in this genre in the near future

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10

Will Ferrell is Brad Whitaker, a good hearted but wimpy man who is step father to two kids from his wife Sarahs (Linda Cardellini) previous marriage, although his colour by numbers approach to parenthood is not winning him any brownie points. His mundane lifestyle is thrown into disarray when Sarahs ex-husband Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) arrives back on the scene, much to the delight of the children. Dustys seat of the pants view on life is the polar opposite of Brads and thus the movies premise is set and Sarah and the kids generally sink down into the background as the back and forth game of emotional tennis is played out, with Dusty the emotional bully who constantly knocks back any attempt Brad may make to come out on top.

Wahlberg and Ferrell have shown that they can do comedy and their chemistry does shine through on a small number of occasions but they are brought back into banality very quickly by the weak plot. The highlight of the movie is the injection of Thomas Haden Church as Hannibal Buress, Ferrells boss at the radio station and his snippets of life advice coupled with Ferrells deadpan responses are signs of what could have been and perhaps basing a movie around ‘The Panda’ radio station owner is a good film waiting to happen.

Ferrell and Adam McKay have brought us some comedic gems like Anchorman, Step Brothers and, another venture with Wahlberg, The Other Guys and script writer Brian Burns has penned many episodes of hit series Entourage so on paper it should have worked, but perhaps it’s a case of too many cooks which makes this fall flat, right to the ending that pokes towards a sequel which hopefully never sees the light of day. It’s not that there are not some good comedy moments in the movie but they’ve all been done before and if this had of been accompanied by A Happy Madison production screen then I would not have been surprised.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4 Out Of 10