The Lobster is a black comedy set in a dystopian world where all single people are sent to a hotel where they have forty five days to find a partner otherwise they are transformed into an animal of their choosing to live the rest of their lives. David (Colin Farrell) discovers that his wife has left him for another man so he arrives at the hotel with his brother, a dog, and begins the countdown to finding somebody to spend his life with otherwise he will be turned into the animal of his choice which is a lobster as they have a long life cycle and because of his love for the sea.

The hotel is an awful place full of staged propaganda shows, almost militaristic daily rituals and full of regulations all of which are supposedly designed to enhance the possibility of developing relationships for example masturbation is forbidden and severely punished as a resident known as the lisping man (John C.Reilly) finds out, yet daily sexual stimulation by the maid is part of the routine. There is also a bonus round of sorts where residents go on daily hunts to capture ‘loners’, single people on the run who live in the nearby forest, and can extend their deadline by a day for each person captured.

It soon becomes apparent that finding a partner is not easy as there are expectations around compatibility, and one of David’s ‘friends’ known as the limping man (Ben Whishaw) in the hotel shows just how far people will go to ensure they are not transformed, followed by a series of tests afterwards before they are declared ready for return to society and when David’s time is running out he concocts a plan to find a partner regardless, but things don’t work out quite as expected.

Farrell is superb, in possibly his best performance to date, as David as his delivery of the script sounds almost forced giving the whole situation an almost dream like feel and when coupled with the voice over from Rachel Weisz you begin to wonder if this is an author telling a story or is it somebody recalling a real situation being told in flashback and this uncertainty last for well over half the movie giving it even more of a surreal feel which the tale itself is already doing a very good job of but at the same time the monotone delivery of the narrative seems no different than the conversation on screen so you are constantly unsure of the purpose of the narrator in the story.

I don’t want to give too much away in the review as there is so much which will surprise and shock in equal measures and most of the light hearted moments in a very dark movie are from the unexpected absurdity of how these single people are treated. There’s a performance from Lea Seydoux as the leader of the loners which is so dead pan it makes her appearance in Spectre look full of emotion but in this movie it was perfectly suited.

There is definitely a dig at society and how we are burdened with the expectations of life partners and children while being full of satire that is close enough to the bone to hit home. I enjoyed the movie when I watched it but now, having had a bit of time to digest it I think that this is one of the best movies I have seen in a number of years, it’s slow moving yet doesn’t drag as there’s always something happening, there’s unnecessary use of slo-mo but it sits perfectly with the strangeness of the situation and the fact that only the lead character is ever named adds to the eerie feel of the film. If you are looking for some quick entertaining then don’t try this movie but I can only give it a high recommendation as it’s a superb movie which really gets you thinking long after the credits have rolled.

DJ Speaks Rating: 7.5 Out Of 10

Set in the 1790’s and based on the Jane Austen novella Lady Susan, Love And Friendship stars Kate Beckensdale as Lady Susan Vernon a recently widowed woman who is looking to find a suitable husband for her daughter Frederica (Morfydd Clark) while keeping her eyes peeled for another suitor for her own needs. Susan is a schemer at heart and decides the best course of action would be to team her daughter, that she doesn’t really seem to care about, with Sir James Martin (Tom Bennett) who swings from idiotic to irritating in equal measure all the while trying to get her claws into Reginald DeCourcy (Xavier Samuel) whom she meets while visiting her in laws, the Vernons, at their estate. But while he does not show an interest in her romantically, he is unable to hide his fascination at her brazen demeanor as Susan is scathing in her treatment of people as she often belittles them while speaking to another character even though they are standing right there in the room and her reaction when they point this fact out is just as cutting. Other characters and sub plots come and go but this movie is all about Beckensdale and her confidant in arms American, Alicia Johnson (Chloe Sevigny) as she tries her manipulation tactics on each player accordingly.

Becksendale plays the role perfectly giving the ideal balance of acting like a lady when front and center while being anything but behind the scenes and she is ably assisted by Sevigny as their relationship has a feel of giggling schoolgirls as they plot and plan behind peoples backs, delighted as each piece falls into place and while the end may not be quite what Lady Susan had in mind, she does end up with a victory….of sorts.

It’s a people watching movie which, while not mentioned as such, is told through a number of acts and most of the fun in the movie is watching the reaction of other characters to the principal player in a scene as their facial expressions are often hilarious as other players bumble their way through situations and the developing plots which slowly become intertwined. While lacking the depth of story line as other Austin adaptations it’s still worthy of a few laughs but is kept moving by Becksensdale’s portrayal.

DJ Speaks Rating: 5.5 out Of 10

Collision course begins with the acorn chasing squirrel Scrat inadvertently setting off a chain of events leading into the creation of the universe, which I couldn’t understand as how could the animal already exist if he was only creating the universe? but I digress, so he also inadvertently creates a bunch of asteroids, one of which looks set to cause the destruction of all life on the planet. In order to save themselves all our returning heroes once again must set out on an adventure to escape from the impending doom.

I have seen the first two movies but missed out on parts three and four and from what I can remember, the first two felt like an adventure while this left like a journey to find yourself against the backdrop of the apocalypse. Mammoth Manny (Ray Romano) has forgotten his anniversary and his wife Ellie (Queen Latifah) is not best pleased also their daughter Peaches (Keke Palmer) who is infatuated with her beau Julian (Adam DeVine) is talking about leaving home and Manny is afraid of both losing his daughter and the fact that Julian is not going to look after her correctly. Sabre-toothed tiger Diego (Denis Leary) and his partner Shira (Jennifer Lopez) are talking about the possibility of starting a family but the young of all other animals seem to fear them. Sid the sloth (John Leguizamo) is, as always looking for love in all the wrong places and the one eyed weasel Buck (Simon Pegg) returns as the voice of exposition on their journey.

Anyway the herd must head off on an exploration mission to find out what is drawing this asteroid towards earth and have many moments and mishaps along the way but which rarely raises the excitement levels eventually reaching an area called Geotopia, an exotic new land with a host of colourful new characters which has a large part to play in the ongoing disaster so the friends must join together to overcome the odds and save the day.

It’s hard to critise movies which are essentially made for kids but when done right they can entertain both kids and adults. Unfortunately, while this movie looks great and has more than enough to keep kids happy there seemed to be a lot of characters who were only there to keep the continuity of the franchise going and beneath the themes of maturing as a person and staying loyal to your friends, there wasn’t a lot going on. They did try to throw in some jokes for the grown-ups, but with the odd exception, such as a Pythagoras joke which I laughed at, they just weren’t that good but it won’t stop the next episode appearing in a few years so hopefully they can get back to the fun entertainment of the original.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4.5 Out Of 10

Just as we remember from the TV show sponger Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley) and her publicist best friend Edina Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders) are bumbling their way from glitzy get together to another still somehow in the limelight despite their obvious ineptitude. Eddy is now pushing sixty and has scarcely changed since she first appeared twenty something years ago except that she seems to have grown wider but as Patsy advises her waving dismissively at the image, “You don’t need those Eddy as I will be your mirror”. “How do I look then Pats?” “Fabulous.” but Eddy is not doing so well as the cash is drying up and when her memoirs are rejected by a publishing house things look grim until such time as she finds out the Kate Mass is changing her agent and so begins a desperate chase to ensure that Kate chooses her in order to safe guard the future of her company.

Unfortunately she is not the only one with these ideas and when, after a very funny encounter between Patsy and John Hamm, Eddy gets her moment she accidentally knocks Kate into the Thames where she is pronounced dead after a long search proves unfruitful. Pats an Eddy decide to escape the public backlash and go on the run to the South of France where they begin scheming on how to make themselves rich and set themselves up in the high life out of the public eye only to find out that the jet set lifestyle is not quite as glamorous as they thought. Needless to say it wouldn’t be true to character if they took it lying down so they will so whatever it takes to infiltrate the echelons of the rich and famous.

All the regulars are back with barmy PA Bubbles (jane Horrocks), Edina’s exasperated and completely square daughter Saffron (Julia Sawalha) and an introduction to her hipper granddaughter Lola (Indeyarna Donaldson-Holness) who Eddy and Patsy drag along to France because they believe she is due a large inheritance, along with a host of cameos of varying degrees from stars of the fashion, film and TV industries.

If you liked the TV show then there is more than enough here that you will enjoy and there are some genuinely funny moments, the issue is it just felt like an hour and a half Christmas special in the vein of the Only Fools And Horses classics so there was no actual need for the movie and the story would probably have worked better on the small screen anyway but this is my only real gripe among the ninety minutes of fun.

DJ Speaks Rating: 5.5 Out Of 10

A newly opening haunted house attraction is taken over by real life lunatics in a classic throwback to the 1980’s horror movie genre. Opening with a scene in an asylum where the warden (Robert Englund) is giving an interview to journalist Ms.Quinn (Candice DeVisser) on Halloween night however the interview takes a turn for the worse when she turns out to be Dollface, the daughter of detainee Mental Manny (Jere Burns), a Jim Jones type cult leader, and she goes on a rampage killing all and sundry in order to free Manny and some other prisoners, Animal the Cannibal (E.E.Bell), Dr.Suave (Sebastian Siegel), the Taxidermist (Clint Howard) and Rocco the Clown (Mars Crain).  In the meantime a group of local youngsters are heading for the opening night of the Macon County Funhouse but little do they, or the other revelers, know that the scenes inside are no longer just for laughs as each of the maniacs has set up stall and is running their own version of a real horror scene. It’s all been done before and the cliches come thick and fast but the good thing about this movie is that it never tries to take itself seriously. It knows that the premise is dumb, it knows that it’s characters are tick boxes right down to the gutsy sheriff and goofy sidekick but it is this stance which gives the movie a great homage feel. Director Andy Palmer and writers Ben Begley and Renee Dorian all show that they are fans of the genre but don’t be fooled as, while some of the comedic moments are slapstick there is enough realistic gore, thanks to effects guru, Robert Kurtzman, to allow the movie hold its own. For a small budget movie it puts many of the recent Hollywood attempts at horror to shame and I can see this one becoming a cult hit in years to come.

DJ Speaks Rating: 5.5 Out Of 10

Seth MacFarlane stars as Albert Stark who is dumped by his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) as he is a coward who will not participate in a gunfight. As he is in the saloon contemplating moving from the town of Old Stump, Arizona to San Francisco ,away from what he considers the horrors of the frontier, he saves a woman Anna (Charlize Theron) from death during a brawl however unknown to him this woman is the wife of outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) so as their friendship develops her secret puts him obviously closer to the dangers he is so keen to escape from.

MacFarlanes second effort on the big screen after Ted is a disappointment in comparison however I still enjoyed it more than his subsequent effort Ted 2, if you can look beyond the obvious flaws the movie has in a poor script and some poorly developed characters, including MacFarlanes. It is only Neil Patrick Harris who is excellent as Foy, Louise’s new beau who along with his moustache preens his way through the movie in one scene stealing performance after another and Theron who feels like she is not actually acting which works a treat, as the scenes with just her an MacFarlane feel like two people having a bit of a laugh instead of acting a scene, who have any real presence on the screen and are central to most of the better moments in the film.

There are so many little meta moments and fourth wall breaks that I laughed aloud quite a few times but in saying that there are too many repeatable jokes and the movie is way too long to keep things interesting. Still feel there is a good base for a western comedy somewhere among the mess and with a little more thought it could have been a lot better.

DJ Speaks Rating: 4.5 Out Of 10